look no pants
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
