I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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