His pubic hair was longer than his dick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay