You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
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i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished