Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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