i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize