Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
