So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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