Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
