My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
