I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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