You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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