Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize