You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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