So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just had sex on a roof
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
