I can tuck mytits in my pants
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
