i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
