Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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