Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
