I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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