So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize