your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
