My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
