I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
