went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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