just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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