just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
