I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
