Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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