I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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