Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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