I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
