You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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