I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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