I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
