I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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