I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
