i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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