About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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