1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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