One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
