The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize