Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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