either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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