your room smells of hookers.
And success
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
