is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
