so explain again why im purple
no
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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