he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
