Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize