Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
