Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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  (419): There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around http://tfl.nu/vprs
  Replies (41) Good night (786) Bad night (3387)
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  (707): View more from California

  OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.

  (1-707): View more from California

  Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.

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  (707): OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy. (1-707): Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots. http://tfl.nu/h6l1
  Replies (11) Good night (1570) Bad night (3180)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

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  (612): hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted. http://tfl.nu/g5t8
  Replies (37) Good night (2766) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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  (709): I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again. http://tfl.nu/ujyy
  Replies (19) Good night (5826) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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  (252): I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son. http://tfl.nu/kdpy
  Replies (27) Good night (8200) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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  (978): Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over. http://tfl.nu/42jf
  Replies (22) Good night (1296) Bad night (4305)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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  (610): who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch? http://tfl.nu/432a
  Replies (38) Good night (3913) Bad night (1245)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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  (256): FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation. http://tfl.nu/7b12
  Replies (28) Good night (1355) Bad night (7477)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

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  (951): I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved http://tfl.nu/ox8t
  Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (2374)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (920) Bad night (2354)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

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  (832): We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life. http://tfl.nu/iqsk
  Replies (5) Good night (891) Bad night (1630)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.

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  (703): When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond. http://tfl.nu/i1tf
  Replies (12) Good night (2602) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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  (260): Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/8iit
  Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (1849)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask

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  (845): i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask http://tfl.nu/5xm3
  Replies (1) Good night (849) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF

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  (207): It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF http://tfl.nu/i5py
  Replies (3) Good night (192) Bad night (265)

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