yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.