My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10