2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.