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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  obviously you're part succubus.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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• (716): View more from New York

  I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything

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• (510): View more from California

  It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm a corrupt cop.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?

  (845): View more from New York

  Hahah good point

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  I'll be right over.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing

  (703): View more from Virginia

  ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated

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