Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i think my tv is drunk

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  (860): i think my tv is drunk http://tfl.nu/pa05
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (557)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He had one of those small greek statue penises

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  (813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6
  Replies (33) Good night (828) Bad night (5466)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.

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  (440): we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now. http://tfl.nu/0eqq
  Replies (9) Good night (3692) Bad night (982)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono

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  (347): Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono http://tfl.nu/a0gb
  Replies (40) Good night (7941) Bad night (1059)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating

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  (240): Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating http://tfl.nu/ynhz
  Replies (19) Good night (1177) Bad night (3377)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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  (585): She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings. http://tfl.nu/pz3m
  Replies (44) Good night (6879) Bad night (1781)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?

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  (250): How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time? http://tfl.nu/zyvh
  Replies (30) Good night (5588) Bad night (1932)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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  (804): I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years. http://tfl.nu/h8vw
  Replies (8) Good night (1999) Bad night (786)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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  (225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi
  Replies (9) Good night (1507) Bad night (492)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him

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  (314): I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him http://tfl.nu/o7zk
  Replies (3) Good night (1078) Bad night (493)
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  (408): View more from California

  My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.

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  (408): My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now. http://tfl.nu/tbbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1387) Bad night (577)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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  (215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k
  Replies (3) Good night (1753) Bad night (556)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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  (907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!

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  (318): WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW! http://tfl.nu/fuwp
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  probably

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  (217): Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes? (309): probably http://tfl.nu/mhkm
  Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (183)

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