Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

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(970): View more from Colorado

So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.

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(703): View more from Virginia

still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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(310): View more from California

I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

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(818): View more from California

ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.

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