ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
