East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
wow bdsm is so cute
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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