when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
