my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
