This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
