i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
