allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
