I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
