She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
