a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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