you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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