Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize