If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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