Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
