Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
this is an emotional support booty call
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
