she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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