theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
